June 16, 2010

BBBC: Day 3 - Relationships

For the record, I'm starting this at 11:51pm of the 3rd day. So, technically I'm not late. Neener neener :P

SL Bloggers - How hard do you think it is to find a relationship in SL? If you have an SL relationship, have you met in the physical world? Would you meet them? Do you think it would change your SL relationship if you met?

I think how hard a relationship is, in SL or RL really, depends entirely on the people involved. There are people out there that are easy to please, that just want someone to say "i like/love you" every once in a while and have a little fun in the mix. There are also people out there with such high expectations that no human will ever meet them.

Personally, I'm an extreme loner. I am generally happiest left to my own devices most of the time, and find high expectations exhausting and off-putting. I'm also extremely averse to ownership, even the simplest kinds that many many people perpetuate without even knowing, in both romantic AND platonic relationships ... and even familial ones. You know, getting jealous when someone doesn't call you first about their important thing, having a rule that your friend cannot date your exes, not allowing your husband to have female friends because "everyone knows men and women can't be friends" (if you're nodding your head in agreement with that one, you should know that it's utter bullshit - if you can't be friends with someone of the opposite gender, the problem is with you, not your biology), forcing your child to be just like yourself regardless of their own individuality... You get the idea.

Still, on the bright side, I have managed to become friends with a few exceptional people in real life and SL, and I'm married to a pretty marvelous one, as mentioned before. The people that can let me be myself, even if it means we don't speak for a month or more, are the ones I find reasons to be with, and remain with. I feel freer to enjoy their company and their character, and it certainly seems the feeling is mutual.

On the dark side - I have had a few very fleeting SL romantic-ish relationships, and they have ended badly because of expectations, dishonesty, boundary issues, and ass slapping (seriously guys, do you *have* to slap the ass of the girl you're with? I'd say it was cute the first time, but ... it wasn't.)

As for meeting in real life ... I'm deeply hesitant about that with most, and have not done it at all with any as of yet. Yes, I believe absolutely it will change the relationship, and in some cases that's unacceptable at the moment. In other cases, the change will just be part of the adventure. ;)

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